Health hazards

I was fortunate to be born in a country with excellent healthcare services even if we have to literally pay them out of our own pockets. In Singapore, we can just walk into a clinic off the streets and await our turn.

If we don’t like the visit for one reason or another, we can switch to another general practitioner without any procedures or even explanation. However, most Singaporeans continue visiting the same doctor each time because it eases and speeds up the treatment they need.

In the Netherlands, I have to make an appointment for every little thing, including visits to the doctor and when I get there, I still need to wait my turn which I find rather redundant.

When I came to live here, I caught the odd winter flu and it took a while before I got used to the change of climate. Visits to the doctors (there were four doctors in the practice) proved futile because I was brushed off with the usual ‘tea and honey’ advice which I took in my stride amidst my grumbles.

Then I became pregnant and what was supposed to be an exciting time in my life became a frustrating one. I had the added task of seeing both the gynecologist and a neurologist, the former of whom informed me that I had to stop taking the prescribed medicine I had been taking for 16 years for my epilepsy because it was dangerous for my baby. I knew from experience I could not do without the medicine and the prospect of having a seizure whilst pregnant was horrifying.

I sought a second opinion with my neurologist back in Singapore who vehemently disagreed with his Dutch peers but beside giving me his support, there was little he could do since I was living here.

I could not even begin to discuss my anxieties as I saw a different neurologist on every other visit and found myself having to re-tell my whole epileptic history each time.

When I did manage to raise the subject, the response was ‘If you do not follow our advice, then we are not responsible if anything happens to you’. The emotional blackmail worked because I was scared that if something did happen, they would point the finger at me with their ‘I told you so’s’.

Fortunately, I delivered a happy, healthy and beautiful girl who bears no scars of the trying times I had whilst carrying her.

My postpartum problems had only just ended when I began falling ill one time after another. I initially attributed it to a post-natal compromised immune system but my health got particularly bad in winter where there would be weeks when I could not leave the house. My husband had to buy an electrical adjustable bed mattress to ease my meals and prevent bed sores. I was coughing so hard that my ribs would hurt and I had to wear sanitary napkins to avoid involuntary urinary incontinence.

A new doctor who later joined the practice brought some relief when she diagnosed my illnesses as infections and ordered blood tests to establish the cause. Unfortunately the results were inconclusive. I did my part, from taking homeopathic treatments and extra vitamins to eating organic food but all was in vain.

To add further salt into the wound, I was having problems with my epilepsy medicine which I had resumed taking after my daughter’s birth. My body wasn’t used to the chemicals anymore and the side effects of the drugs returned with a vengeance, pushing me into a deeper depression.

I tried switching to another medicine but it only gave me seizures, and we had to call the ambulance twice. I had no choice but to return to my original medicine which controlled my seizures but made me gain more weight. When I tried to discuss the situation with the doctors , they just shrugged it off, as usual.

I contracted my umpteenth flu in June last year and when my cough wouldn’t cease after a month, I had to give in and see the doctor again. Perhaps it was because she was still a trainee doctor or perhaps she was really good but Dr P. finally discovered the source of my recurring ill health. It was my tonsils and as soon as she suspected it, she swiftly made appointments with the throat, nose and ear (KNO) specialist at the Orbis Medisch Centrum in Sittard for me. Three weeks later, the diagnosis was that I needed to have my tonsils removed.

Both Dr P. and the specialist promised me that once the tonsillectomy was completed, the infections and sleep apnea would stop. Although I was also promised excruciating post-surgery pain, it turned out to be bearable (or maybe it was just the drugs). A minor infection ensued but after two weeks, it was as if it had never happened.

Looking back, I wonder why despite my frequent year round visits, the first doctors I saw didn’t seem too concerned that I was perpetually sick and kept prescribing off-the-shelf medication. Perhaps, they just thought that I would toughen up and do it ‘the Dutch way’.Whilst I am not opposed to that, it was a frustrating approach for me since I was used to empathetic doctors back in Singapore who listened and did their best to help, whether it was with medicine or with alternative advice.

In the Netherlands there were four doctors in the practice and though I tried to keep seeing the same one, it wasn’t always possible. By the second year, I dragged my husband along with me to these visits so he could help me communicate with the doctors and see for himself what I was going through. He consoled me by saying that the doctors were just being indifferent, which he said was a typical Dutch trait. As much as he understood it however, after watching me being ill for three years, even he had had enough of it. The two doctors who had helped me had left the practice and we saw no hope for change in the remaining ones so we decided to switch to another practice.

I know there would be no guarantees that things would have been different in Singapore but one thing I know is that I would have at least received some compassion from the doctors. I didn’t expect to get special treatment in the Netherlands just because I’m a foreigner but being sick all the time whilst far away from family, friends and homeland does exacerbate the loneliness and isolation.

Worst of all, I missed a big part of my daughter’s life because even though I was physically there, I wasn’t mentally and emotionally present. I had wanted another child but I gave up any aspirations of it because I was so sick and even though it is not too late, any desire I had has been exhausted by the constant illnesses. Paranoia has also set in and I am afraid I could fall sick again just as easily as I had.

Unlike our previous doctors, our new one always greets us with a friendly face, which makes all the difference in the world to me. I have also found a massage therapist and an acupuncturist, both of whom have been sympathetic to my health problems and are hopeful they are able to help me regain control of my health.

Despite the promising outlook, I feel that it will take time before it happens and I keep wondering how different the past three years could have looked like if only someone had taken the time to help me figure everything out from the beginning.

By Musliha Ajmain

Musliha Ajmain is a Singaporean mother of one married to a Dutch native and presently residing in South Limburg.